**UPDATED at the time of Sept. 2018- initially posted in 2016. Two years wiser and much more time invested in san francisco bay area means a fresher perspective!
My instagram is @TheVioletFog if you’d like to discuss more after reading! I adore a good viewpoint!
*** Quick heads up: this viewpoint relates to straight women but love that is i’d hear other views!
It is very easy to get down when it comes to san francisco bay area dating.
Several times during my 4 years here, i might state:
“It’s la la land here. Males don’t want to subside. ” “It’s too difficult finding some guy that hasn’t dated one or more of my buddies. ” “No one really ‘dates’ right here. And guys seldom approach females. ”
Facts are- I becamen’t far down. Lots of dudes in bay area fit that mildew. But quite simply pawing around on those ideas once more and again won’t do just about anything in a dating landscape where- you neeeed to stay positive if you want to stay happy and have fun. Exactly why is it well well worth staying good? Since there are superb guys in bay area. You simply have to alter your approach whenever things aren’t helping you. You should be intuitive. You realize where bigger degrees of “fuck men” or “Peter Pans” (adult men who won’t develop) frequent. Invest a shorter time at those spots if you’re trying to boost your likelihood of finding somebody of quality and connection that is true.
You will find idiots and jerks in bay area. But you will find idiots and jerks every-where. EVERYWHERE. Understand that. And girls can too… be jerks. Simply saying.
The side that is optimistic of in bay area: it is enjoyable, quirky… and mysterious. Many types of individuals in this town. Therefore flavors that are many. A lot of walks of life once you really begin checking out other areas.
Let’s talk about the cons of san francisco bay area dating first. Merely to have them taken care of.
Do we come across great deal of guys whom don’t desire to subside yet? Yes. Completely.
There’s also men who would like a relationship. They will tell you. They shall allow it to be understood. It known, chances are they aren’t looking for a relationship– and there you go if they don’t make. You’ve got your response. Don’t attempt to alter their head. Don’t waste your time and effort. Don’t complain that no dudes here require a relationship. You can find males that do- move ahead and appear for all those dudes! ALSO… if some guy does not desire a relationship, we can’t knock them for planning to stay solitary SO LONG AS they aren’t earnestly someone that is leading rather than being clear about their agenda.
Maybe there is moments whenever we recognize that man we simply came across really as soon as dated somebody we understand? Yes. Completely.
This might be merely another good reason why you ought to get from the rut and explore many various communities. Don’t simply keep frequenting the exact same environment where all of your buddies reside. Diversify… while increasing your odds of finding somebody with zero to small acquaintances that are mutual.
The things I hate many about dating in bay area
The sheer number of dudes there that have disgusting feeling of entitlement and attitude towards relationship. Which was irritating. Usually they’re the people getting such great praise (and pay) at the office into them being hotshots outside of work as well that they think it translates. Like these are generally too good or something like that. Just just What sucks about these bad 
oranges is they often times be removed as charming to start with. But alas, the arrogance and attitude that is shallow reveals it self fundamentally. Therefore simply run whenever you suspect that big-paycheck-big-ego persona thing going on. Don’t stroll, RUN.
Additionally irritating: san francisco bay area features a complete large amount of “adult frat men” whom nevertheless haven’t shifted from their immature university lifestyles. They behave like teenagers. Newly 21ers. They brag exactly how much they could drink. They make an effort to “hang away” to you but never ever ask you out on a night out together. They troll pubs every week-end with that tired amount over quality mentality regarding ladies. Yep, we certainly have adult frat males right right here. “Fuck boys”… anything you desire to phone them. Me Personally? We never ever had problems because i possibly could spot them from the mile away. But often, within their work attire, they are able to go off as something various therefore I see why females have issue right right here. But women, listen and observe… you understand if some guy is looking for a hookup and never wifey. Don’t give that guy the full time, and simply as a result of “yet another” bad encounter, don’t get straight straight straight down in the whole relationship scene. You will find good guys available to you.
DATING APPS IN BAY AREA?
Don’t get me started. We now have the dudes who can really date a lady limited to us to learn months later that they’re nevertheless on Bumble, The League, Hinge, whatever… because to them, one thing brand brand brand new and shiny just about to happen appears more essential than nurturing one real and breathtaking connection… it is a shame actually. But this is certainlyn’t actually certain to bay area.
Therefore, like everywhere else, we got pricks, dicks, and FOOLS throughout the town. You understand what? Here’s the kicker…